We don’t know where this leads, but that’s the point of starting.
Table of Contents
- Leveraging the Fresh Start Effect
- 1. Preserving Memories “Because We Forget Everything”
- 2. Sharing a Common Vision and Accountability as a Family
- 3. Enhancing Learning through Documentation and Reflection
- 4. Fostering Creativity and Innovation
- 5. Developing New Literacies and Skills
- 6. Building Connections and Networks with other Families
- 7. Potential Opportunities in the Future
- Looking Forward to the Path Ahead
Leveraging the Fresh Start Effect
Imagine waking up on a crisp January morning, with the world outside blanketed in fresh snow, and feeling a surge of motivation to finally chase those dreams we’ve been putting off. This invigorating sense of renewal is what psychologists call the “Fresh Start Effect”. It’s a fascinating phenomenon that suggests we’re more likely to tackle our goals and aspirations when we reach significant moments in time, like the beginning of a new year, the start of a week, or even a personal milestone like a birthday. These moments, much like turning the page in a book, allow us to mentally separate from our past missteps and embrace the promise of a clean slate.
I’ve first encountered this notion in a Choiceology episode in which Professor Katy Milkman was hosting (sorry all, I couldn’t locate the exact episode, but she does mention it quite a lot). I thought it applies much to my family – we’ve just relocated to the UK from Singapore in December last year. My choice to pursue a PhD in my 40s in a foreign country dramatically changed our family’s life, prompting us to relocate and adapt to a new and diverse experiences. Yes, fundamentally, it’s a family’s fresh start – our family’s fresh start!
Embracing the fresh start effect, AvoYo and I then committed ourselves to initiate a transformative change for our family with this relocation. As part of this, the idea of starting a website and blog to capture our experiences emerged as the most appealing idea. This post serves as a recollection of the key benefits we have gathered – and we’d love to hear from all of you out there on other considerations that we should hold.
1. Preserving Memories “Because We Forget Everything”
I’m curious if you’ve caught the J-drama aired on Disney+ in 2022, known in English as “Because We Forget Everything”. The drama unfolds around M, a mystery writer, who has shared a five-year relationship with his girlfriend, F. After a hectic period, he suddenly finds himself disconnected with her. A woman, who says she’s F’s sister, tells him that F has been missing since Halloween. Determined, M starts looking for F, but the stories he hears from others paint a picture of F that doesn’t match the woman he thought he knew. As he ventures further into his search, M’s peaceful life starts getting entangled with the troubles of those he encounters.
Should you find yourself drawn to this drama out of curiosity, I feel it’s important to pre-empt that it tends to resonate more with a middle-aged audience, those with life experiences that carry distant vague memories and reflections that are often hard to put into words. While the synopsis suggests a gripping mystery full of suspense, the actual narrative focuses on a middle-aged man dealing with everyday life, encountering new experiences, solving the unexpected mystery of finding F, all while juggling the challenge of writing a book in an unfamiliar genre.
I thought an interesting part of the drama is where M seems to remember things that differ very much from the “realities” he encountered. In one of the episodes, there was a friend he recalled that has passed away suddenly appeared again and reconnected with him. As he recollects shared memories with this friend, everything seems slightly out of place.
As it is, that was a long-winded demonstration of what it means by “because we forget everything”. Life meanders unpredictably, often cluttered with mundane details we rarely articulate. As we look back, we are possibly just like M – we’ve constructed representations of a reality that was never existent simply because we could not remember everything.
To AvoYo and myself, documentation is probably the best way of preserving some of these most invaluable moments of our life. As a family unit, our relocation from Singapore to the UK is a groundbreaking episode of massive transition. This involves adapting to a new culture, language, and environment, which can be daunting for all parties. Children may struggle with new schools and making friends, while parents face the demands of a new lifestyle. The emotional strain of leaving behind familiar places and support systems is also not easy. Nevertheless, these challenges can be transformed into opportunities for growth and bonding. Wouldn’t it be a loss if all this learning went undocumented? Years ahead, we hope to look back on our struggles and development with vivid memories.
2. Sharing a Common Vision and Accountability as a Family
Long before we made the decision to relocate, my wife and I had been contemplating of a family project where each member could contribute in their own special way, adding value through their unique roles. Yet, with our hectic lives in Singapore, we never quite settled on a concrete idea and often procrastinated, hoping the perfect concept would magically appear someday—any day but today.
With this fresh start for our family, we decided it’s now or never. By building a blog to document our experiences that come with the relocation, we’ve created a living storybook of our lives together from now on — one where everyone contributes and learns. When each of us take turns to write or create content, open communication about ideas and struggles is facilitated, ensuring everyone gets heard. In a sense, this then becomes a space where our individual perspectives blend into a shared narrative, even including my youngest, An Pan Face, reminding us all that we’re all connected in this journey.
Can’t this be kept private? Why make it a blog? We grappled with this dilemma too. Ultimately, we realised that sharing publicly could be a strong motivator, encouraging us to stick to our aspirations. Ever heard about the concept of a “commitment device”? Again, hijacking wisdom from psychology insights, fresh start effects do have limitation – new year resolutions don’t really stick, right? So, we want to make use of a commitment device, which is fundamentally a psychological strategy where people actively instil external factors to help them stay on track, like imposing penalties for not meeting their goals. By maintaining a public website with our declared intentions, we aim to keep our family committed to this shared vision. Picture Cup Cup Mee sharing her updates with peers, eager for her next post – she’d be inspired to keep it going.
3. Enhancing Learning through Documentation and Reflection
My wife and I are educators. We care a lot about learning, and we recognise the profound impact of direct experience on learning. Yet, if we don’t take the time to extract insights from these experiences, much of the learning potential is lost. Experience, on its own, is merely a starting point—a stimulus for developing abstract concepts that reshape our mental models for future encounters. Having experience doesn’t automatically translate to learning; we all know people who, despite years of experience, still approach things like beginners.
And so, we have a fresh start that we hope to leverage to gain the greatest extent of growth and development. That’s only possible if we’re intentional in our approach to dealing the experience. The crux of learning from experience lies in our ability to extract insights, transforming them into a deeper understanding that can be applied to new situations. Luckily, we have Kolb’s Experiential Learning Cycle to guide us. It reminds us to be deliberate in reflecting on experiences and continue working on those reflections. On this endeavour, our blog serves as an important platform of enactment.
Experiences are momentary and may not always recur, and our reflections are only relevant to those passing episodes. The incidental lessons we learn don’t always form the systematic learning we see in schools. Yet, when we document these experiences on a blog where each post captures a snapshot in time, we can revisit and reconsider our experiences and reflections. This process can reveal patterns in our choices, identifying areas for improvement, and celebrating small successes we might’ve overlooked.
Importantly, documenting our journey as a family also encourages a deeper understanding of each member’s perspective. Just the other day, Crazy Monkey reflected on how her current form teacher’s verbal feedback differs from what she experienced with her former teachers in Singapore. She then also provided suggestion for us, as parents, on how to provide feedback to her behaviours (something which warrants a separate post). With more of such processes, we are more able to see the world through one another’s eyes. I strongly believe that, over time, we’d become a more cohesive unit, learning together as we navigate new challenges.
4. Fostering Creativity and Innovation
The thing about a fresh start due to relocation is that there are many stimulations of novelty – a different country means fresh cultural practices, social norms, languages, food, lifestyle, climate, education, social opportunities, etc. This novelty can spark creativity and innovation. How can we effectively channel and sustain such creative energies?
A blog thus serves as a perfect outlet, enabling us to explore our interests and passions. Through writing, photography, graphic design or other media content creation, the blog becomes a creative canvas that adds richness to our family’s adventures. As we capture our relocation experiences, we may stumble upon new hobbies, interests, and talents to explore together as a family. This creative exploration not only enhances individual growth but also strengthens our family bonds, as we collaborate and support each other’s endeavours. With KidLingual, I already see Crazy Monkey and An Pan Face supporting AvoYo in her creative experiments. By fostering a culture of creativity and innovation, I’m confident we can create a dynamic and engaging environment that encourages exploration and discovery over time.
Well, we’re probably very mediocre in our initial attempts. We’re just starting out, right? Still, we’re excited to present our creative pursuits, even if they are personal and imperfect. In any case, we’re interested in tracking our change over time, and perhaps, the contrast between now and a future moment would show how far we’ve developed. That being said, we’d love to have your suggestions too if you have great tips for us!
5. Developing New Literacies and Skills
The creative canvas we envisioned comes with its own set of demands, requiring us to build new competencies. None of us are media experts, nor are we particularly well-trained in this area. As educators, we’ve been trained to use digital tools for instructional design, but creating and managing an online ecosystem of a blog and media content channels is a completely different beast.
Having launched and maintained a website for language educators since 2022, I can attest to the gaps in skills and knowledge that we need to bridge. I’m confident that over the past two years, I’ve gained a solid grasp of skills in website development, full-stack programming, and search engine optimisation while driving the growth of this website. Notwithstanding such, I still regard myself rather amateur considering the wealth of things to learn.
With our family blog, AvoYo and I anticipate the need to eventually become “mini-experts” in photography, video editing, graphic design, scriptwriting, and presenting. By “mini-experts”, I mean having just enough expertise to ensure our blog’s success, without aiming for professional business standards. Of course, the responsibility of honing such skills isn’t solely left to AvoYo and myself; the three kids are equally involved.
I envision this process of acquiring new skills to be empowering, offering all of us the confidence to explore other digital domains. We can then apply these newfound literacies and skills to various aspects of personal and family life, from education to career development, creating a well-rounded family legacy that thrives in the digital age. In doing so, we’re also guiding our kids to understand the virtual world, its opportunities, and the importance of cybersecurity.
6. Building Connections and Networks with other Families
I’m quite certain my family isn’t the first to embark on such a journey—whether it’s launching a website and blog or encountering a fresh start by relocating to a different country. We sincerely hope to connect with other families who’ve shared these experiences, and even those who’re planning similar journeys.
By reaching out to others who have gone through similar changes, we aspire to build a supportive community that shares wisdom and guidance. This network can be a tremendous asset in helping families navigate the challenges of settling into a new environment and feeling at home.
So, with our new public website up and running, we’re extending this invitation to you. We want to connect with you – families who’ve either taken bold steps towards your fresh starts or are planning for your different fresh starts. Let’s unite to create a supportive community, fostering relationships that enhance our lives through these new beginnings.
7. Potential Opportunities in the Future
With our fresh start, my family is already exploring the exciting opportunities that come with moving to this new country — new city, new friends, new environment, new beginning, and hopefully, a transformed family! As we stay dedicated to growing our blog, who knows what the next 2 or 3 years might bring? Would we create a niche with our website? Would we acquire new skills and evolve indivudally? Would we connect with more families and engage them actively? Would we branch out into other content areas and found new interest there? Perhaps these ventures will lead to unexpected adventures!
Frankly speaking, I’ve no idea what the future has in store for us. Even as we pledge our commitments today and share them openly, the unknowns of tomorrow remain. But this uncertainty is a blessing, offering us the opportunity to shape it gradually and create with the resources at hand to realise our vision. Perhaps the questions we ask will bring forth wonderful answers. And that’s only possible if we take our small steps today – and so that’s what we’re going to do.
Looking Forward to the Path Ahead
For now, we’re sowing seeds, understanding that not all will blossom. Every post captures a memory, a lesson, or a spark of creativity, evolving into a vibrant mosaic of our lives. Every post would just capture a memory, a lesson, or a spark of creativity. Collectively, they would grow into a vibrant mosaic of our lives. We’re constructing bridges, acquiring new skills, and holding ourselves accountable, while nurturing connections. With gratitude, we welcome the unknown, aware that these seeds might someday grow into unexpected opportunities. Many of our creative projects will be our own to reflect on, but who knows – some may thrive and endure beyond AvoYo and me, guiding Cup Cup Mee, Crazy Monkey, and An Pan Face to uncharted territories. What I do know is that if we keep going, this blog will be our family’s legacy in time to come.
